These words simply go unheard
Ink glides the surface of my bedside notebook
as I anxiously scribble in the dark
Each word turns mute once it hits the paper
Screaming for another way out
I'm just a writer
looking for a way
to express these thoughts
I don't know how to say
And you're right in front of me
I'm at a loss of words
I trace "I love you" in the air
But I don't think you heard
This voice becomes muted
on a silent sheet of paper
My thoughts are screaming
Let me be heard
Yet they're muffled by my frightened heart
Beating at a flightier speed
My pulse is becoming too quick to read
A steady line goes across the screen
As I watch you walk away from me
Thinking nothing more
than what you did before
A few hours and 17 cups later...
So heres the story, my friends: I was really bored on Monday (damn shame, I know) and I was drinking lots of tea. After the first cup of this newer tea my ma bought, I realized it's very interesting. One must appreciate the small joys in life like so, or else one will be fairly disappointed when the bigger joys are much harder to find.
Oh what a nice cup of tea
I ponder as I breathe in the lovely aroma
I pour in the steaming water
and I watch the bag bleed
causing flowery colors to swirl
alternating from pink to red
as the flavor sets
I take my first sip
and sigh in contentment
Oh what a nice cup of tea
Aimless, fruitless, but full of hope
I love how I seem to have ADD in every area of my life.
I have no focal point.
Therefore, I have no specific point to focus on.
I am an arrow...shot...in no distinct direction.
I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know where I'll end up.
I have no specific target.
As soon as I think I know where I will land,
the winds pick up
and I am uncertain again.
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know.
I am just strolling aimlessly
towards no answer nor goal
It feels so fruitless
Like picking from a fruitless bowl.
The roads are long and windy
In circles I go
Because I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know.
Coloring outside the lines of conformity
I'm trying not to listen
But they are yelling so loud
I turn up the stereo
Shunning my curious ears
I worry about her so
As she's fighting off tears.
And I know her so well
She refuses to learn
Defending the enemy as she continues to yell.
My mother feels helpless in persuading her to stay
But the foe has brainwashed her
And our mother watches as she simply drives away
Away from her comfort zone
Away from the well known
She knows she'll be fine here
And that's why she drives off
Bravely into the fog
Where she may struggle,
suffer,
but learn on her own.
And what she recieves from her experiences
is something unknown
She has yet to find it.
But when she does,
she will have more respect from me
than anyone who was too afraid to color outside of the lines.
If I have learned anything from her in the past 16 years
it is to ignore those lines of conformity.
Forget about society.
Branch out.
Feel.
And for once, she makes me cry without even intending to
I realize now how proud I am of her
just for diving into life.
Diving into this new, unknown world
and refusing to back down now.
Appreciation to the body and mind
I am really interested in the mind and how it works. Did you ever think about the thought process and what chemicals are necessary in the brain in order to make it happen? Do you ever wonder where these words come from that you speak/type/think? I mean really, when you are having a conversation, you never know what the person is going to say. How on earth do you respond so quickly or have that understanding of what they are talking about? How is it possible to have those moments where you finish someone's sentence or say just the right word someone is trying to think of?
People really underestimate the intelligence they possess as well as the miracles that happen throughout their bodies and minds. People go through life doing the things they do, and take advantage of them. And it's really a shame because everything we do is really spectactular. We adapt, learn, feel, relate, help...we do so many things...and we are all the same but with our own different identities and characteristics. And somehow, with all that, we can have so much in common. Everyone has the opprotunity to relate. From here to Nepal. It's so beautiful, yet so overlooked. It's like colorful fireworks that no one pays attention to. Think about the people you meet. Think about how you meet them. Think about how in a matter of minutes, you can either make a friend or a foe. In a matter of minutes, you can realize how much or how little you can relate to someone just by talking to them. Sometimes you don't even have to talk to them, you can just tell. It's all so amazing, open your eyes world and see all the life around you. Appreciate it while you experience it.
I would like to become fluent in another language, and then speak to someone from where the language is origanted from. Meaning, maybe perfect my spanish, and then go to spain and have conversations with natives of the country. I believe I would appreciate human relation more than ever. Thinking about it, diversity and relation would go hand in hand in that situation. I would be speaking with someone from a different origin, of a different culture, and so on...while in some ways relating to them with beliefs, certain experiences, and common bonds such as family and friends.
And with this reborn appreciation of life
I am more conscious to the blood flowing throughout my body
Pumping from my heart to all my vital organs and then my limbs
Air goes through my noses and is sifted
so that only oxygen goes to my lungs
and the carbon monoxide is returned to the air.
I notice how my eyes blink
simultaneously
at a steady pace with equal intervals inbetween
A process to keep dust and foreign particals out of my eyes.
And as I type these words, signals are being sent from my brain
and down my vertebrae
giving orders for my body to move
Syncronically, the thought process aids in the ordeal
Bringing thoughts to my fingers
so that the action of typing is not an empty tap tap
but a clatter of tapping full of ideas and feelings
with every letter forming a word to appear on this screen
A screen merely made up of pixils.
This box with a luminous picture,
is simply just a box...filled with interconnecting wires,
working together with technology and electricity
to form a computer...
the most intelligent innatimate object known to man.
And much like the computer, is the human.
The difference being, we are not a box
but a skeleton.
Not filled with wires
but with bones, tendons, tissues, muscles, organs, fats, veins, capillaries, arteries, blood, particles, molecules, atoms.
But we both have the ability to learn and retain information.
What makes us different is the contents and the fact that computers are unable to have thought process or feelings.
We out do them in that area of spontantity.
Clear Faces
I made this one out of newpaper clippings. As you can tell, it was a created around a time heavy with political issues. I'm not too big on that but oh well. I tried. It turned out alrighty. It's fairly legible at least.
Clear Faces
Children against president perspective plan (Fiction fans. . .)
Looking for direction
Mixed faith shows why life is inescapable
SHUTDOWN
Uncertain against destiny
Search wild eyes out of control
Protests for aspiring survivors
Teen-angest will stress friends
Late kids run
ZOOM!
Drama outlooks mind
War is making negitive help
Family's start offense
Gangs care
Pedestrian lost
Dumbstruck community (True)
Press on Sweedish glee
Flawed law (Here?)
A tough day (Another)
Sugarcoated, splashy destiny (I am me)
Wellness at high prices
This
happy
King
and
Queen
elegance
is
old
A decade of errors
a small sign
that raises eyebrows
and
opens eyes
Just a dreamer
I'm just a dreamer,
walking through life...
convinced that I'm still asleep
But when I am in my bed
dreams run though my head;
I realize I was definately in reality...
because the sheets are still cold
and I wake up alone
to empty spaces and
nobody holding me
If only I could lay just a little bit longer,
I could stay in this daze and believe
Not as wonderful as you wish of me
It's like you only see me with my mistakes,
The more you notice me with the more I make.
You can't see me when there's lack of tension,
when there are no flaws to grab attention.
You stand there and make me feel terrible
Accentuate my mess ups with a flashlight.
You keep finding things to be angry about.
And to make your point, you shout it out.
Like I'm a stain that's in your way
you shout it out for me to go away.
I shouldn't be here, I only slow you down
I make your clothes look messy which makes your face go frown.
Things used to be so happy,
now things are just gray.
I fight my way through the fog and finally find your face,
You block me out, put me down as you lower me to my place.
I can see you but I dont think you want to see me
I'm not as wonderful as you might wish I could be.
I'm a lover in waiting
Thank goodness no one reads this, because some of this I am just embarressed about. Specially when they have to do with relationships and stuff. Sigh...::hides in corner::
I hold my own hand to give myself hope
I hold my own hand so I wont be afraid
I hold my own hand for comfort
I hold my own hand for warmth
But I'm not alone
I'm not indenial,
Im not delusional with woe,
And Im not lying when I say it.
This world is too cold to be alone
So I stick my head up high
Walk in a smooth glide,
I'm a lover in waiting
for that special someone to walk by my side.
Maybe Im not ready now,
God is just helpin me avoid unecessary pain
As for now, I sit and wait...
with my check, waiting for my mate.
Just to see you at the end of the race...
I wrote this for a friend, who wasn't having the greatest of days, in hopes to cheer her up.
I wish that you would smile,
there is too much blue on your face.
I would run nine miles,
just to see you at the end of the race.
Things may be gloomy,
but leave that for the skies.
Fresh new life is bloomy,
and the beauty reflects in your eyes.
Maybe you can flip upside down...
so then your smile will be right side up.
Or maybe this poem will steal your frown...
and lift your spirits up.
Monsters don't scare me
I wrote this in response to a conversation I had with a friend. Well, it's not necessarily a response if I never showed it to them, but maybe someday they will come across it.
I see someone who is sad.
Someone who doesnt want to pass it on
for fear it will spread...
like a plague.
In a way I understand
Yet it doesn't mean I see you that way.
All these things open my eyes
But not to see you in a bad light
A deaf man can hear music, maybe not like us
But music from the inside.
As a blind man can see what we can't
Our five senses only give us so much
I see you as a person
thoughtful enough to warn me what may be ahead
Ample time to change my direction and walk a safe distance...
Only to hurt more that I listened
People hurt people everyday
Friends care enough to warn
But why would I walk all this way
to turn around and feel forlorn?
I dont see you as a monster
it's only how you see yourself
I'd rather be sacraficing myself
Than missing this 'monster' more everyday.
Dodging Raindrops
This is an exerpt of a piece of poetry I wrote last year. This is my favorite part, the rest is pretty lame in my eyes...
I would dodge raindrops just to please you.
Just so that when I reach you, I wouldnt be wet.
Because when I do, I would want to hold you.
All the pain I would forget.
My heart is stubborn,
my mind is torn.
What to listen to when I'm in defeat?
If only i had a CD of your heartbeat...
I would listen to a life that makes mine worth while.
Who gives me the adrenaline to run a mile.
I need to cut it out,
there is no way this love can come about.
You mean a lot to me,
I just wish you could see
these feelings I have wont go away.
I love you more and more everyday.
