Muffled by the walls of the chest cavity...: August 2005

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Cheeks roseate...

My cheeks flush when I see your picture
I hide it quickly before someone walks in
It's not that I am ashamed of you
But I cannot fathom trying to explain such beauty
and why my cheeks are so red

Telephobia and an apple in my eye

Honestly, I don't know. I really did have my boxers on backwards and it was early in the morning. The rest came to me slowly as I felt around for the words...and this is what came up. Sometimes it's hard for me to admit things, and this was the only way I could voice it- or whatever feelings I may be stifling.

I knew I was out of sorts today
when I realized my boxers were on backwards
and I have an apple in my eye

"And love just like blood will always stain"

Beep, beep, beep
goes the pay phone
with the phone hanging off the hook
Talk, talk, talk
goes the robot
"If you'd like to make a call,
please hang up and try again."
Stunned, you don't remember the number
but luckily your fingers remember the motions
Boop beep boo bop bee deep doo dop bop beep boop
Ring, ring, ring
yells the telephone
you wait in anticipation,
choking on each breath
because you've forgotten how to breathe
Hello, hello, hello
goes the reciever
at a loss of words
you end up stumbling,
stuttering,
and tripping over what words find your mouth
Um, um, um
escapes your mouth.
What, what, what
they say impaciently.
Eyes wide, tougue tied
whispering with cheeks so red:
"I love you"

"Oh well," she thought, for the only hope she contained was what remained unknown.
Oh well.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Sail away, sweet stranger.

I'm sorry I never knew you in the way I wish I could. You know me for my music, I know you as a lingering memory.

In bed, I held a stranger
as I pulled the covers up to keep her warm...
Only for a time, and it was a time long ago
Because currently I dont exist anymore.
Friend, love, foe
So quickly did our time fly by
For she kissed my lips to meet me
Before we even said 'hi'
I read her mouth like braille
only to find out we wouldn't be friends at all
No, we flew past that
with lust as our distraction
I didn't know what I was doing
I was still akward and naive
But nevertheless, it felt right
Even though everything was so new
Now it's in the past
Everything that has happened is done
She has long forgotten me
and has replaced me with someone else
The hurt makes no difference
but if there was anything I could say,
it'd simply be:
"Sail away, sweet stranger.
So quickly did our time fly by.
Such a shame I never met you;
But I do my best to comply"

All I know is what it feels like
with her body against mine
and a cool breeze on our bare shoulders
unprotected by the sheets
Or how I would run my finger up her spine
when her body became acquainted with mine
And how the shy clumsiness went away
with each time we made contact

Her name was Astarte...
a name that leaves you drunk with infatuation,
a headache, and a scar.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Never close enough

I can't stop thinking about you
So near but yet so far
Close but no cigar
Within arms reach, we pull close
We hold each other just the same...
but it's not the same.
And my heart beats through my chest
Knocking at yours like a door
Pounding in Morse Code, "I love you..."
with each beat meaning it more
Will your heart come out today?
Will your lasting presence be here to stay?
How much did it hurt today...to let go?
It feels so long ago
but it was only this morning
And I sleep with my hands intertwined-
pretending that one of yours is in one of mine
I love you more than you could ever imagine
In a way you could never love the same.

EMergency affectiOn

I lie awake

The house settles beneath me

I try to get comfortable

but there's no way in hell

Or out of it, rather

So I log roll and shift

Curl up, stretch out

With thought after thought rolling in

like a constant storm

The wind whips around

and the rain keeps on pouring

The sight is overbearing

I just cannot see

I sway my head to and fro

in hopes to clear the clouds

These memories flood before me

ineedout

Swimming toward any salvation,

I sink to the bottom

and drown in remorse.

I need a lover

to throw me a life savor

CPR, mouth to mouth...

emergency affection

: Name: Jenny; Location: Lindenhurst, Illinois, United States

I like my friends. They bring exuberant joy in my life. I am a relatively happy person, but that is not all I consist of. I have many different sides to me- from goofy to serious. I'm generally laid-back, but then really full of energy. Im really fidgity and bite my nails. I am really outgoing, but in the inside I am actually pretty shy. Nobody really realizes that but it's something you have to know me to actually notice. I have a lot of love in me that I enjoy sharing. I like hugs and kisses. I am very cuddly and affectionate. I have trouble showing some of these things because I sometimes have trouble opening up. I have a fear of vulnerability so I hide my deepest feelings. The future scares me, but it also comforts me because no one knows whats going to happen. I'm pretty deep and a closet emo kid. I like the word crayon.

View my complete profile

Muffled by the walls of the chest cavity...